Trying New Things
Anxiety and confidence
Hello!
Thanks for sharing your stories of Little Openings and the Diderot Effect this week. I really enjoyed reading them.
A thought on the twin paths of choosing to try new things or stay in the comfort zone this week. I hope you get a chance to try something new this week and it’s more fun than you hoped.
Jono
Many things we encounter in life are self-reinforcing. Sometimes in a positive way, other times in a negative way.
Trying new things and anxiety can run both ways.
Trying new things can be daunting and uncomfortable. But in my experience, usually when I have a go at something, I find it wasn’t as difficult or as bad as it seemed. Doing this enough builds confidence and reduces anxiety about trying new things in the future.
And the converse can be true, also. When I don’t try new things, the anxiety about starting them remains.
I once read that anxiety is:
overestimate chance of danger
Anxiety = ———————————————--
underestimate ability to cope
Trying new things, volunteering, stepping up, saying yes, even having a go at something when no one is looking, all expand confidence and help lessen the fear for next time.
Abraham Maslow, known for Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, wrote:
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
Or, as the saying goes: A ship is safe in the harbour, but that’s not what ships were built for.
This cycle was reinforced for me recently in the book The Amazing Generation by Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price.
Related Ideas to Trying New Things
Also see:
The Awkwardness Vortex (podcast episode - sketch from Big Ideas Little Pictures)
Always choosing growth can lead to overstretching where the needs of all the things you started can become overwhelming while your skills never solidify.
I prefer the paths shown in Apprenticeship Patterns, because they are more nuanced: sometimes you have to "withdraw into competence" to regain the needed focus to try new things again. If life comes crashing down around you, you need a stable base to avoid breaking in ways that would prevent you from providing the support people you care about (like your family) depend on.
I don't think that _not trying_ new things produces anxiety. I think it's just a one-way street, that anxiety causes is not to try new things.
However, if you can overcome that anxiety, and try new things, that helps to reduce anxiety.
I think this needs a more accurate sketch.