This is lovely. As a regular cyclist my favourite interaction with strangers is at red lights when pedestrians don’t realise the light is green for them (lots of lights round here don’t beep) and I call out ‘it’s green/you can cross’ I always get a thank you or a smile.
I'm dropping off packages at FedEx today. A simple errand. Another item to tick off my list.
But out there right now are the people I will encounter. The drivers on the road, distant but near; customers in the store, near but nameless; and then the cashier.
Unknown to each other until we aren't. Behind that face is an their entire universe (every choice, every wrong turn, every ordinary day that became something else) converging with mine at a FedEx counter.
An opening occurs, a request, a confirmation, payment, and a receipt. Maybe some small talk, but more than likely, a few minutes after I arrive, I will be gone.
Two lives briefly touching and continuing in directions that will almost certainly never cross again.
Jono's openings are the mechanics of it. What sticks with me when I think about these moments is that the universe briefly held two lives next to each other, and then quietly put them both back down.
Dictionary of Obscure Sorrow! What a great find. Makes me think about those moments again. I find I like the poetic symmetry between sonder and wonder.
I love this one. This is one of my favourite things about being out in the world - the chance to collaborate with a stranger, a tiny improvisation that turns a moment outside into an ensemble effort.
I'm also a bit obsessed with the way social spaces can help this happen, and be engineered to slow people down and get them to notice each other properly. That was why I got hooked on the podcast 99% Invisible, and in particular the opposite factor - the non-designed flaws in our urban environments that stop us interacting with each other, and the mental (and physical!) downsides that result.
Yes, it’s really interesting what makes spaces conducive to interactions or the opposite. The book The Pattern Language, and sequels, are interesting for this.
Thank you! I will hunt down a copy. I've been interested in the whole topic from an ancient history perspective for a while (part of my not-terribly-good dissertation for my BSc Archaeology was on medieval York urban space development), but I've only looked into it as an interested layman, pre-newsletter, so maybe this would be a fun focus for a season of EiA! Will ponder and noodle.
This is lovely. As a regular cyclist my favourite interaction with strangers is at red lights when pedestrians don’t realise the light is green for them (lots of lights round here don’t beep) and I call out ‘it’s green/you can cross’ I always get a thank you or a smile.
Such a simple little positive interaction 😊
This is such a smart way to describe how we connect.
One thing I've noticed living between cultures is that some cultures seem far more willing to step into these little openings than others.
In Italy, a stranger giving unsolicited advice, asking a personal question, or striking up a conversation is often an attempt at connection.
In Seattle, the same opening is more likely to be left untouched.
Neither is entirely better. One can feel intrusive, the other isolating.
But it has made me wonder how much belonging is created through these tiny moments of mutual interruption. 💙
I'm dropping off packages at FedEx today. A simple errand. Another item to tick off my list.
But out there right now are the people I will encounter. The drivers on the road, distant but near; customers in the store, near but nameless; and then the cashier.
Unknown to each other until we aren't. Behind that face is an their entire universe (every choice, every wrong turn, every ordinary day that became something else) converging with mine at a FedEx counter.
An opening occurs, a request, a confirmation, payment, and a receipt. Maybe some small talk, but more than likely, a few minutes after I arrive, I will be gone.
Two lives briefly touching and continuing in directions that will almost certainly never cross again.
Jono's openings are the mechanics of it. What sticks with me when I think about these moments is that the universe briefly held two lives next to each other, and then quietly put them both back down.
What you describe is rather like this word I learned recently
https://substack.com/@everythingisamazing/note/c-315151264
Dictionary of Obscure Sorrow! What a great find. Makes me think about those moments again. I find I like the poetic symmetry between sonder and wonder.
I love this one. This is one of my favourite things about being out in the world - the chance to collaborate with a stranger, a tiny improvisation that turns a moment outside into an ensemble effort.
I'm also a bit obsessed with the way social spaces can help this happen, and be engineered to slow people down and get them to notice each other properly. That was why I got hooked on the podcast 99% Invisible, and in particular the opposite factor - the non-designed flaws in our urban environments that stop us interacting with each other, and the mental (and physical!) downsides that result.
Yes, it’s really interesting what makes spaces conducive to interactions or the opposite. The book The Pattern Language, and sequels, are interesting for this.
Aaand now I have another book to read. Thank'ee, sir.
Sorry! Perhaps it will be in a library =)
I think I preferred a later volume: https://www.patternlanguage.com/bookstore/timeless-way-of-building.html but all are interesting in looking at what makes successful spaces.
Thank you! I will hunt down a copy. I've been interested in the whole topic from an ancient history perspective for a while (part of my not-terribly-good dissertation for my BSc Archaeology was on medieval York urban space development), but I've only looked into it as an interested layman, pre-newsletter, so maybe this would be a fun focus for a season of EiA! Will ponder and noodle.